to admitt that you actually love or miss someone is HARD and it comes with self realization. i have noticed that i can't help but to feel this way. at first, i always felt as though something was wrong with me. is there a sense of feeling needy, miss that lack of love or the feeling that someone NEEDS me. .WANTS me. .and proves that they love me in MORE than just WORDS? actions are missed, feelings that were felt and grew to infinite limits. the passion was undeniably strong. BUT it came to an end.
not to say that i am not over him is confusing at times. i know that what we had was great at the time but now i know that my heart is elsewhere. however, there is a void. it's not that i want him back excatly. it's just that after over a year of being in a relationship you get use to certain things and standards. you get use to planning your day around that person. you get use to checking in, making plans, reassuring and having that reassurance. .
i mean. we have all had our share of relationships or at least crushes, or crushes and know how you felt. the feeling is light and carefree and mystical in a way. it takes you to greater heights and once it's done weighs you down with questions: who would have known? what happened? when did it change? why is it over? how will i continue?
the questions swirl about and linger. .when in your head you want to throw up the middle finger. throw your hands up in the air and yell you dont care. but you do. more than you care to. .and there's nothing you can do.
when in the relationship there is two. .but before that. .there is you. after, there still remains a you with a better self knowing of him and yourself as well. you have to embrace the experience and LEARN from it ALL. .
it's like i could tell the world how i feel but that wouldnt do me any good because im not saying it to you. .but how can i tell you when you dont want to listen. im not trying to revive anything back just want to convey what i lack. .which is. .my once best friend
-aew 10
iWrite. simply said. simply put. but not always simply read. iWrite. iFeel. iRelate. iTranslate. iGive. iDirect. read. take it in. let it marinate. and comprehend. .
This is so honest, and a beautiful reflection of self.
ReplyDeleteFelt.
ReplyDelete"when in the relationship there is two. .but before that. .there is you. after, there still remains a you with a better self knowing of him and yourself as well. you have to embrace the experience and LEARN from it ALL. ."
very true, as well as this post but this was very true