who in the HELL gave out my NEW NUMBER?
there is a reason as to why certain ppl DON'T have it.
i mean what was the point of changing it in the first place.
it's MY number NOT yours to give!!
i'd be nice if you asked for permission first.
UGH!!
GRR!!
im SO upset && when i find out who did it, Oh there shall be hell let loose.
*(sigh) until then. .
for future reference DON'T give my number out. .idc WHO it is. .mmkay?!
>[
iWrite. simply said. simply put. but not always simply read. iWrite. iFeel. iRelate. iTranslate. iGive. iDirect. read. take it in. let it marinate. and comprehend. .
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
it just slipped out. .[again]
alright, so before i jump this off. .i want to say HI && THANK YOU for your time :) trying to see. .get the feel if i want to ramble or rhyme. .or a rambling rhyme. haha
well here it is and DONT JUDGE ME!! haha
SO. it slipped out. .again.
just right when you were getting into the groove of this.
i fumbled.
flipped.
wigged out to say.
go a little nervous.
i let my emoitons get the best of me.
although i wanted to fulfill my urge.
REALLY wanted to explode.
let go.
BUT
FEAR got the best of me.
you make me feel as though im the most important figure in your life.
the most beautiful thing in sight.
the reason that you can live a stronger
better life.
the reason why you push yourself harder.
and it was my time to repay you.
im usually the one full of words.
well, im ALWAYS the one full of words.
but this time. .this ONE time was my time to shine.
my time you allow you to sit back and unwind.
look into the depths of my eyes and lose yourself.
unleash all that's built up.
i mean after all that can't be good for your health.
it started off slow
the pace then fasten
steady
easy
nice
melodic flow
th it was my time to swicth the roll
shifted my body to the left
as yours cruised to the right
deep down inside
i was ready to show
what i always hide.
lights dim.
music low.
breaths high pulse.
palms sweaty.
in my mind the line plays.
"you shut it down down down. you be the baddest girl around round round. ."
take that as motivation.
knowing that gets the blood pumping.
heart jumping.
and then i stop.
and THINK.
instead of allowing things to just be.
i move.
it slips out.
go back.
regain thoughts.
rotate.
regain the flow. .
a sway here.
pull there.
giggles released. .
moans increased.
i get into it.
and then i stop and THINK.
don't want to stop BUT my mind takes over.
controlling the body.
im NOT afraid.
BUT SOMETHING stops me.
it's not me.
but the inner me.
the wiser me.
but the freaky me wants to be seen.
battling within myself.
it's as if i need to call in for help.
look around.
i see you.
feel your body.
BUT im all alone.
me against me
yet me on you
it's hard to detect the two.
roll to your right side.
i curl up && hide
pride shut down.
tears held back.
wanting to shout.
let it ALL out.
be able to say I DID THAT!!
the feeling of being accomplishment.
BUT.
NOPE.
it slipped out
[again]
for the final time.
no retry.
and its ALL MY FAULT.
lose by default
=[
well here it is and DONT JUDGE ME!! haha
SO. it slipped out. .again.
just right when you were getting into the groove of this.
i fumbled.
flipped.
wigged out to say.
go a little nervous.
i let my emoitons get the best of me.
although i wanted to fulfill my urge.
REALLY wanted to explode.
let go.
BUT
FEAR got the best of me.
you make me feel as though im the most important figure in your life.
the most beautiful thing in sight.
the reason that you can live a stronger
better life.
the reason why you push yourself harder.
and it was my time to repay you.
im usually the one full of words.
well, im ALWAYS the one full of words.
but this time. .this ONE time was my time to shine.
my time you allow you to sit back and unwind.
look into the depths of my eyes and lose yourself.
unleash all that's built up.
i mean after all that can't be good for your health.
it started off slow
the pace then fasten
steady
easy
nice
melodic flow
th it was my time to swicth the roll
shifted my body to the left
as yours cruised to the right
deep down inside
i was ready to show
what i always hide.
lights dim.
music low.
breaths high pulse.
palms sweaty.
in my mind the line plays.
"you shut it down down down. you be the baddest girl around round round. ."
take that as motivation.
knowing that gets the blood pumping.
heart jumping.
and then i stop.
and THINK.
instead of allowing things to just be.
i move.
it slips out.
go back.
regain thoughts.
rotate.
regain the flow. .
a sway here.
pull there.
giggles released. .
moans increased.
i get into it.
and then i stop and THINK.
don't want to stop BUT my mind takes over.
controlling the body.
im NOT afraid.
BUT SOMETHING stops me.
it's not me.
but the inner me.
the wiser me.
but the freaky me wants to be seen.
battling within myself.
it's as if i need to call in for help.
look around.
i see you.
feel your body.
BUT im all alone.
me against me
yet me on you
it's hard to detect the two.
roll to your right side.
i curl up && hide
pride shut down.
tears held back.
wanting to shout.
let it ALL out.
be able to say I DID THAT!!
the feeling of being accomplishment.
BUT.
NOPE.
it slipped out
[again]
for the final time.
no retry.
and its ALL MY FAULT.
lose by default
=[
Saturday, August 7, 2010
content
SO let me do a semi brief update.
the post about the whole ex factor. .let's shine a light on that.
SO to my liking and very random suprise he contacted me. .i want to know who tipped him off. naw jk. as of now, we are on speaking terms and then it turns complicated. i refuse to go into to the depths of details. .but just know that i know that you know that we know how that all goes when you run into an ex. .but for me it seems to be a little different. .imean im content. .but there's that something. .that missing link. .that unknown. .that umph that draws me in. .keeps me interested and then it's that one thing that pushes me away. .just makes me wonder what am i doing. .i know what he's about and where things can end up. .where it's all leading. .then again it's not fair for me to judge him. i may think i know him. .known him for several years. .but he still shocks me. .keeps me on my toes. .just when i think ive figured him out. .im unsure all over again. .and then that's when im reminded that maybe i dotn know. .and it's rude to assume. .[ASS U ME]and that sometimes the hidden suprises are the token loves. .OH I DONT KNOW. i had something wise && witty to say but that i was interrupted by the new comers gawking at my hair. .which btw is STRAiGHT and i did it myself. .maybe i'll try to keep it up for a bit. .it was much easier with the new product. .im happie for now. .and the reponses have been positive..but i wonder what he'll think. .OH GOSH look at me. .ima stop once again. .gotta get ready for the next shift. .&& OOH LORD hold me back from slapping that old bitty. .OOooOoh -Cao Bella
the post about the whole ex factor. .let's shine a light on that.
SO to my liking and very random suprise he contacted me. .i want to know who tipped him off. naw jk. as of now, we are on speaking terms and then it turns complicated. i refuse to go into to the depths of details. .but just know that i know that you know that we know how that all goes when you run into an ex. .but for me it seems to be a little different. .imean im content. .but there's that something. .that missing link. .that unknown. .that umph that draws me in. .keeps me interested and then it's that one thing that pushes me away. .just makes me wonder what am i doing. .i know what he's about and where things can end up. .where it's all leading. .then again it's not fair for me to judge him. i may think i know him. .known him for several years. .but he still shocks me. .keeps me on my toes. .just when i think ive figured him out. .im unsure all over again. .and then that's when im reminded that maybe i dotn know. .and it's rude to assume. .[ASS U ME]and that sometimes the hidden suprises are the token loves. .OH I DONT KNOW. i had something wise && witty to say but that i was interrupted by the new comers gawking at my hair. .which btw is STRAiGHT and i did it myself. .maybe i'll try to keep it up for a bit. .it was much easier with the new product. .im happie for now. .and the reponses have been positive..but i wonder what he'll think. .OH GOSH look at me. .ima stop once again. .gotta get ready for the next shift. .&& OOH LORD hold me back from slapping that old bitty. .OOooOoh -Cao Bella
restlessness
hm. .i am at work. .been here since 5:56am because im a good girl and like to be on time :) haha well. .that means that ive been up since 5am. .and the drive wasnt that bad. .except for the casual a-holes that decided that me pushing 80mph wast fast enough and high beamed me. .oh and the two loser faces that wanted to rev their engine && race. (uh-no)
anyway. .i am currently on break. .and when im given a break, it usually turns into the exact opposite. i dont know how to keep still. .i always have to up && about doing SOMETHiNG or else i lose my mind. .since break ive cleaned up, checked facebook, walk the track. .moved my car, changed my clothes, and sticken up several random conversations. .i feel bad for calling people this early in the morning on a saturday BUT this is when i have the time. .haha didnt really make any calls, just talked to some co-workers i dont usually fratinize with && allowed strangers to contact me on fb messenger. .
oh the things guys say. btw. they are LAME!! guys. .UGH.
that's a WHOLE nother blog. .that i should write if i have the time. .i mean i do have 30mins to spare. .
random -my tatt itches. .] just got my fourth on behind my right ear && -tiph you were right, i didnt feel a thing!! yay me :] i actually caught myself falling asleep. .makes me want to do the Rihanna and get one all the way down my back..haha NOT.
hm. .i didnt sleep very well last night. .
-wait. .phone call && now a text. .psht-
dude, your lost im NOT answering = MiSSED CALL
-back to Pandora. .which SAVES my life when i have to do the tables. ugh. these people. .
alright i think im about done with this ramblance because it's obvioulsy not going anywhere. .if you read this. .im SORRY haha just needed to vent?
-on to the next on on to the next one. .
-an update or something new? we shall see
anyway. .i am currently on break. .and when im given a break, it usually turns into the exact opposite. i dont know how to keep still. .i always have to up && about doing SOMETHiNG or else i lose my mind. .since break ive cleaned up, checked facebook, walk the track. .moved my car, changed my clothes, and sticken up several random conversations. .i feel bad for calling people this early in the morning on a saturday BUT this is when i have the time. .haha didnt really make any calls, just talked to some co-workers i dont usually fratinize with && allowed strangers to contact me on fb messenger. .
oh the things guys say. btw. they are LAME!! guys. .UGH.
that's a WHOLE nother blog. .that i should write if i have the time. .i mean i do have 30mins to spare. .
random -my tatt itches. .] just got my fourth on behind my right ear && -tiph you were right, i didnt feel a thing!! yay me :] i actually caught myself falling asleep. .makes me want to do the Rihanna and get one all the way down my back..haha NOT.
hm. .i didnt sleep very well last night. .
-wait. .phone call && now a text. .psht-
dude, your lost im NOT answering = MiSSED CALL
-back to Pandora. .which SAVES my life when i have to do the tables. ugh. these people. .
alright i think im about done with this ramblance because it's obvioulsy not going anywhere. .if you read this. .im SORRY haha just needed to vent?
-on to the next on on to the next one. .
-an update or something new? we shall see
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)