i remember a time when i was happy.
the thing is when you're living in the moment, oneday it shall pass. and then you're forced to look back and try to make it your then again reality.
THiS simply can't be.
see, life is a mystery and the clues are hidden in plain sight but we're not able to figure it out until it's too late.
as of now, it's too late for me and my situation. to move on from this point is going to take a lot. the thought of this whole process made me over joyed. .but then to put it into play..im baffled.
i was so sure, but now. .eh. a bit iffy.
we need to let go and move on.
that's how we feel NOW
what about LATER
sheesh.
after all this time. .effort and EVERYTHING this is it?
this simply can't be.
bitter me?
im not sure.
just a little thrown off.
shaken up a little.
right when i was right there getting to the peak.
push down and stomped on.
c'mon coach.
put me in the game WITH A PLAN!!
cant allow me to shoot around blind folded. .
unless
that's what's meant for me to do.
ramblance.
endless ramblance.
i know that in the end i shall win
be where i need to be
OVER this whole situation
settled.
living LIFE
this is a defeated stance
ever what to just shut down
because they wont shut up?
yupp, it's about that time.
AWOL
yet, i feel selfish.
a strong woman like ME is not allowed to have weak moments.
i am ONLY ONE PERSON
that downfall is that I AM HUMAN
please see that.
take in to account all that has been done
what needs to be done
and who's helping me do it
the Lord carries me and places me at another starting line
i take my time to map out the travels
when in reality i should probably just go for it
but im afraid of a false start and starting over
or is it
that im just afraid to begin?
you win
iWrite. simply said. simply put. but not always simply read. iWrite. iFeel. iRelate. iTranslate. iGive. iDirect. read. take it in. let it marinate. and comprehend. .
i've tried to access your blog for the longest, it says you disabled it or something like that UNTIL i looked in my feed for the people i follow and saw that you ARE blogging and was able to access it from there and was greeted with lots of entries :) just a little fyi for ya. people might not be able to access it.
ReplyDeletei feel all of this top to bottom. fear is a motherfucker forreal. but think about allll that you can accomplish if it wasn't for it, that's even scary in itself.
"ever what to just shut down
because they wont shut up?"
Yes mam.
"cant allow me to shoot around blind folded. .
unless
that's what's meant for me to do."
felt.
heeeyyyy im JUST now loggin on to see this!!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU! for all the info. i really do NEED to come back to blogging. .i have SO much bottled in and i have NOT written in AGES. .like anything that is NOT school related.
thank you thank you thank you for being such an understanding reader and friend. much love gissy :)